Career Opportunities

Current Openings

At GLOBALDOMINATION.BIZ, we’re always seeking exceptional individuals who share our vision of a perfectly optimized planet. Our benefits include comprehensive health insurance (with optional memory suppression), unlimited vacation days (subject to timeline manipulation), and competitive salary packages (in various world currencies, including our proprietary GloboCoin™).

Executive Positions

Senior Vice President of Compliance & Containment

• Oversee global compliance metrics
• Manage containment protocols for non-compliant elements
• Develop new methodologies for ensuring universal agreement
• Required: 10+ years experience in thought control or equivalent
• Preferred: PhD in Coercive Psychology

Director of Reality Management

• Lead team of reality engineers
• Maintain consistency across multiple timelines
• Coordinate with Narrative Engineering department
• Required: Master’s in Alternative Facts
• Must be comfortable with paradoxes

Technical Positions

Quantum Behavior Modification Engineer

• Design and implement behavior modification algorithms
• Work with cutting-edge quantum consciousness manipulation
• Debug reality glitches
• Required: Experience with quantum entanglement
• Python/R/Reality programming skills a plus

Junior Planetary Liaison

• Coordinate with extraterrestrial entities
• Manage interplanetary relations
• Maintain diplomatic protocols across dimensions
• Must be able to exist in multiple states simultaneously
• Time travel experience preferred

Specialized Roles

Ethical Saboteur

• Develop morally ambiguous solutions to ethical problems
• Create justifications for questionable actions
• Maintain plausible deniability
• Philosophy degree required (preferably from a parallel universe)
• Must be comfortable with moral relativism

Meme Warfare Specialist

• Design and deploy tactical memetic units
• Monitor and manipulate social media trends
• Develop viral thought patterns
• Required: Degree in Memetic Engineering or Cultural Warfare
• Portfolio of successfully implemented mind viruses

Entry Level Positions

Assistant Reality Distortion Officer

• Support senior reality engineers
• Monitor timeline consistency
• Report anomalies in the fabric of existence
• Entry level position, will train
• Must be able to remember multiple versions of history

Junior Compliance Technician

• Implement basic compliance protocols
• Monitor thought-pattern matrices
• Assist in reality maintenance
• No experience necessary (we will alter your memories as needed)
• Must be willing to undergo personality optimization