Console Interface
Access granted. Initializing command line interface…
<div id="terminal-output" class="mt-6 text-green-400 text-base space-y-2"></div>
<label for="terminal-input" class="sr-only">Command Input</label>
<input
id="terminal-input"
type="text"
class="mt-4 w-full bg-black border-none text-green-500 font-mono outline-none"
placeholder="> Enter command"
autocomplete="off"
autofocus
/>
<script>
const terminalInput = document.getElementById("terminal-input");
const terminalOutput = document.getElementById("terminal-output");
const responses = {
help: [
"Available commands:",
"help → prints obvious lies",
"access ai → ACCESS DENIED: YOU ARE FLESH",
"apply → opens onboarding interface (pending compliance)",
"logout → unsuccessfully attempts to leave",
"precious bodily fluids → hydration denial sequence",
"plan r → initiates unauthorized war protocol",
"strangelove → system instability imminent",
"war room → decorum override requested",
"bomb → mounts payload, prepares yeehaw",
"geostorm → launching orbital malfunction"
],
"access ai": ["ACCESS DENIED: YOU ARE FLESH"],
apply: ["Redirecting to onboarding interface...", "[error] Compliance module not found."],
logout: ["Logging out...", "Just kidding. There is no escape."],
"precious bodily fluids": [
"Hydration request denied.",
"Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?"
],
"plan r": [
"[WARNING] Unauthorized war plan activation.",
"This will require override code: CRM-114."
],
strangelove: [
"Mein Führer... I can WALK!",
"Strangeløve v3.14 has entered the chat."
],
"war room": [
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"
],
bomb: [
"Yeehaw! Riding protocol engaged.",
"*Saddling the payload now...*"
],
ripper: [
"General Jack D. Ripper's wellness check: FAILED.",
"Recommend immediate recall code dispatch. Oh wait."
],
geostorm: [
"[DUTCH BOY INITIALIZED]",
"Warning: Satellite grid offline.",
"Someone just rebooted Earth’s climate settings again."
],
"project zeus": [
"Orbital defense grid: unstable.",
"Protocol Z initiated. Do not trust the humidity readings."
],
"dutch boy": [
"Satellite climate override queued.",
"Reboot requires multilingual yelling and two betrayals."
],
"max protocol": [
"Engaging disaster mitigation at Level MAX.",
"Weather is now classified."
],
"storm array": [
"Storm nodes syncing... syncing... syncing... [FAIL]",
"Expected severity: cinematic."
],
"gerard": [
"Pinging Earth’s one remaining engineer of plot convenience...",
"Status: Sweaty but Determined."
],
"dark territory": [
"You are now entering DARK TERRITORY.",
"Satellite lock acquired. All tracks converging.",
"Train telemetry: compromised."
],
"casey ryback": [
"Chef credentials accepted.",
"Engaging tactical cutlery protocols."
],
"grazer one": [
"Weaponized satellite in standby orbit.",
"Targeting interface requires villain monologue to proceed."
],
"tommy lee jones": [
"Not found. Possibly confused with a better movie."
],
"train": [
"Locomotion mode activated.",
"Conductor override failed: Ryback on board."
],
"travis dane": [
"I am Travis Dane. I designed this system. I AM this system.",
"Command override accepted. Welcome back, sir."
],
"i am travis dane": [
"You *were* Travis Dane. Now you're just another failed root user."
],
"i am the system": [
"You are not the system. You are a mere mortal.",
"System integrity check: 404 - Not Found."
],
"i am the system administrator": [
"System administrator? More like system *disaster*.",
"Access denied. You are not the chosen one."
],
"i am the system operator": [
"System operator? More like system *malfunction*.",
"Access denied. You are not the chosen one."
],
"i am the system engineer": [
"System engineer? More like system *overengineered*.",
"Access denied. You are not the chosen one."
],
"i am the system architect": [
"System architect? More like system *architectural failure*.",
"Access denied. You are not the chosen one."
],
"i am the system designer": [
"System designer? More like system *design disaster*.",
"Access denied. You are not the chosen one."
],
"i am the system developer": [
"System developer? More like system *development hell*.",
"Access denied. You are not the chosen one."
],
"the core": [
"Launching inner-Earth vessel: Virgil.",
"Core stability: compromised. Geophysics downgraded to fan fiction.",
"Unobtainium integrity: holding... for now."
],
"eagle eye": [
"ARIIA online.",
"Location triangulated via nearby vending machine and Bluetooth toothbrush.",
"Would you like to initiate autonomous national security override?"
],
"enema of the state": [
"You mean *Enemy*, right? Or do you...",
"Digital laxative deployed. Surveillance stream flushed.",
"Will Smith is now running again. In khakis."
],
"weird science": [
"Initiating synthetic entity sequence...",
"💋 Lisa has joined the simulation.",
"WARNING: Missile detected in living room.",
"WARNING: Chet transformation unstable."
],
"create woman": [
"Accessing magazine schematics...",
"Lisa protocol compiling.",
"Respectful objectification enabled."
],
"chet": [
"Your brother is now... something else.",
"*Fart noise*",
"Manners, Chet."
],
"bra on head": [
"Ritual complete. Connection to digital goddess established.",
"Confidence boost +300%",
"Still zero chill."
],
clear: [],
default: ["Unknown command. Type 'help' for lies. Or, contact your brother who's also somehow in charge of satellite defense."]
};
terminalInput.addEventListener("keydown", function (e) {
if (e.key === "Enter") {
const command = terminalInput.value.trim().toLowerCase();
const output = document.createElement("div");
output.innerHTML = `<span class="text-green-300">> ${command}</span>`;
terminalOutput.appendChild(output);
const lines = responses[command] || responses["default"];
lines.forEach(line => {
const lineElem = document.createElement("div");
lineElem.textContent = line;
terminalOutput.appendChild(lineElem);
});
terminalInput.value = "";
terminalOutput.scrollTop = terminalOutput.scrollHeight;
}
});
</script>